Retroactive jealousy is having an emotional reaction to a past event in our partner’s life, at which we were not present and before we knew them. But, before we can have an emotional response we must be attached to them – we must care. The more we care the more likely we are to have retroactive jealousy and the harder it is to overcome.
Retroactive jealousy is our minds way of protecting us from getting hurt, or rather the mind fears getting hurt and that’s why it plays mini-movies in our minds of our partners past relationships.
Hope is not lost, and no, Obi-Wan Kenobi is not our only hope! One of the techniques I found incredibly helpful is using the belief that everything happens for a reason. If our partners past relationships didn’t happen, or you were to change even the smallest event, it’s possible that they would be a different person and you may not love them. Plus, you may never have met!! Would you be willing to risk changing an event in their past if it may result in never meeting them?
This post has only touched the tip of the iceberg, if you’re looking for more help with overcoming retroactive jealousy I found Jeff Billings book – How To Stop Being Jealous Of Your Partner’s Past In 12 Steps – really helpful and it’s one I highly recommend you read.
If you’d prefer a personal touch send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or use the contact page, and I’ll do best sharing my experience to help.
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