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File 03-03-2017, 07 21 47

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

A networking book that delivers a knockout punch of value. Networking and meeting new people is a weakness of mine so you can imagine I found this book incredibly useful. I’d say it’s on a par with Dale Carnegie’s classic – How to Win Friends and Influence People.

If you’re like me and would like to improve your networking arsenal, take a look at what I wrote in my journal;

  • Until you become as willing to ask for help as you are to give it, you are only working half the equation.
  • The summary of networking is generosity.
  • It’s easier to get ahead in the world when those below you are happy to help you get ahead, rather than hoping for your downfall.
  • A goal is a dream with a deadline.
  • There is genius, even kindness in being bold.
  • Don’t network – make friends.
  • “Spectacular achievement is always preceded by spectacular preparation” – Robert H.Schuller.
  • Secretaries and assistants are gatekeepers to the bosses and CEOs. They must like you/become your friend if you are to get the most from the relationship with their boss.
  • Your network is like a muscle, the more you work it the bigger it gets.
  • Give yourself between 12 and 24 hours after meeting someone to follow up. A simple “it was a pleasure meeting you and discussing…” Then drop another email in a month – use phone calendar for reminder.
  • When you enter a room full of people, step to the right. See who is there. You want the other people to see you.
  • Learn to touch people. Shake hands or the authors personal favourite is touching a persons elbow.
  • Express your desire to meet again when closing the conversation e.g. “It’s been really interesting chatting with you, let’s do this again.”
  • Wisdom from Dale Carnegie;
  1. “Become genuinely interested in other people”
  2. “Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves”
  3. “Let the other person do a great deal of the talking”
  4. “Smile”
  5. “Talk in terms of the other person’s interests”
  6. “Give honest and sincere appreciation”
  • When you land in a new country message people “Hi Jan, Just landed in New York and it made me think of you. No time to meet this trip, but just wanted to touch base.”
  • Invite people round for dinner – no need to cook. Starter – crisps/chips and salsa. Main – Cooked chicken and salad wraps. Dessert – cookies and ice cream.
  • 8 Steps of dinner parties;
  1. Have a theme – meatloaf recipes, black tie, vegan food, organic, music
  2. Plan an invite people through email, social media
  3. Don’t spend time in the kitchen – pre-cook
  4. Create an atmosphere – music, candles, flowers, young child as waiter
  5. Keep it informal – jeans and jacket
  6. Don’t seat couples together – can use placeholders (name tags on seats)
  7. Relax
  8. Host virtual after party – send thanks for coming with pics of event.
  • People don’t only hire people they like, they hire people who can make their company better.

 

3d

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File 03-02-2017, 22 38 11

Super Brain by Deepak Chopra and Rudolph E. Tanzi

Another super book packed full of value, this one was recommended by Daniela Lopez! Here’s what I wrote down, hope you find value;

  • As we ag the brain produces new nerve cells, this can be stimulated by physical exercise, mentally stimulating activities (such as reading) and social connectedness.

How to expand your consciousness;

  • Put a higher value on being awake, alert aware.
  • Resist conformity. Don’t think and act like everyone else
  • Value yourself. Don’t wait for the approval of others to validate you. Instead of desiring external validation strive to help others.
  • Question your own core beliefs
  • Keep faith that inner growth is an ending process.

 

How to transform your perceptions;

  • Be sceptical of fixed reactions, both yours and anyone else.
  • Confront old conditioning – it leads to unconscious behaviour.
  • Be aware of your emotions and where they come from.
  • Examine your core beliefs, hold them up to the light, and discard beliefs that make you stuck.
  • Practice empathy so that you can experience the world through someone else’s eyes.

 

 

  • Awareness is noticing you are feeling an emotion e.g. “I am angry/sad” etc
  • Self-awareness is asking “What do I think about being angry? What does it mean?”
  • Loosing Weight – An imbalance in the brain circuitry results when the areas for impulsive behaviour are strengthened while areas for rational decision making have been weakened. The repetition of negative patterns also harms decision making because when you blame yourself or feel like a failure, lower parts of your brain are once again over-riding your cerebral cortex. Balance is restored when you make a self-enhancing decision – good food or not eating due to an emotional fix.
  • No one speaks of the wisdom of the sex drive, but our instinctively driven emotions are definitely wise. They stand for the kind of awareness that leads us to be happy.
  • Responding to any situation requires understanding, reacting doesn’t.

 

Good suffering you don’t need;

  • Taking the blame for someone else’s mistakes.
  • Covering up abuse, physical or mental.
  • Allowing yourself to be belittled in public.
  • Letting your children disrespect you.
  • Not speaking your truth.
  • Denying yourself sexual fulfilment.
  • Pretending to love.
  • Working at a job you hate.

 

  • Rigidity leads to ritualistic behaviour (rigidity = rigid people). Taken to an extreme, rigidity leads to severe judgements against others enforcing rules with harsh punishments.
  • Fear becomes worse when you are seriously ill, yet dealing with anxiety is far more effective if you attend to it years before you ever get sick. The mind-body connection has to be strengthened before trouble arises.
  • Meditation can increase the enzyme that replenishes telomeres – the anti-ageing chemical. Mediation keeps us young.
  • Drink red wine other alcohol for anti-ageing.
  •  Studies have shown that loosing a spouse suddenly leads to isolation, depression, higher risk for disease and shortened life span. But if you have a social network beyond your spouse you have a cushion against these baleful consequences.
  • Falling asleep during meditation is not failure, your brain is taking what it needs most.
  • We aren’t machines that learned to think, we are thoughts that learned how to make machines.

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Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins

There’s lots of value packed into this book, I’m going to keep this post as short as possible so I will jump right in;

  • Know that it is your decisions and not your conditions that determine your destiny.
  • It is not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what these events mean.
  • All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. The most effective way is to get the brain to associate massive pain to the old belief.
  • If we are to change quickly we must hold two beliefs;
  1. that we can change now
  2. we’re responsible for our own change, not anyone else.
  • To create long-term change we must have 3 beliefs on responsibility;
  1. first we must believe “Something must change” not should or could, but must.
  2. we must believe “I must change it”
  3. “I can change it”
  • Link pleasure to any behaviour you want to repeat
  • The key to success is to create patterns of movement that create confidence, a sense of strength, flexibility, a sense of personal power and fun.
  • Getting old is not a matter of age, it’s a lack of movement. And the ultimate lack of movement is death.
  • Successful people asked better questions, and as a result got better answers.
  • Change your state by asking the following 5 questions;
  1. What is great about this problem?
  2. What is not perfect yet?
  3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
  4. What am no longer willing to do in order to make it the way I want it?
  5. How can I enjoy the process?
  • The words you habitually choose also affect how you communicate with yourself and therefore what you experience.
  • Words shape our beliefs and impact our actions.
  • By adopting some else habitual vocabulary, you begin to adopt their emotional patterns.
  • A whole set of rules, ideas and preconceived emotions accompany any metaphor you adopt.
  • The emotions you once thought of as negative are merely calls to action.
  • 6 steps to emotional mastery;
  1. Identify what you’re really feeling
  2. Acknowledge and appreciate your emotions knowing they support you.
  3. Get  curious about the message the emotion is offering you.
  4. Get confident
  5. Get certain you can handle this not only today, but in the future as well.
  6. Get excited and take action.
  • Sometimes we need to trust that our disappointments may truly be opportunities in disguise.
  • As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain.
  • Procrastination – instead of saying “I should start this project” say, ” I must finish this project”. Change your shoulds to musts.
  • “A man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to it’s original dimensions” – Oliver Wendel Holmes
  • Loss is imaginary. Nothing ever disappears in the universe, it only changes form.
  • The key to wealth is to be more valuable.
  • Most important way to expand your income is to devise a way to consistently add value to peoples lives, and you will prosper.
  • The true purpose of any cooperation is to create products and services that increase the quality of life for all the customers they serve.
  • Donating/giving money away convinces your brain you have more money than you need/an abundance of money.

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gorilla
Forget What They Say

People are always going to talk, no matter if you’re Mother Teresa or Gandhi, someone will not agree with you. It’s as certain as the sun rising in the morning and setting at night.

It’s not a case of trying to stop them, but taking what they say with a pinch of salt. Someone wiser than me once said – What other people think of you is none of your business! And I completely agree!

You could save a child from mortal danger and there will be people who find something wrong with it! Just recently a child fell into a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati Zoo and sadly, the decision was made to kill the gorilla to protect the child. In a perfect world both would be alive however, would you be willing to run the risk of a child being killed whilst the gorilla was tranquillized? I know I wouldn’t!

It takes courage to be you and stand by your decisions, conformity is widespread across society with most trying to emulate celebrities in order to fit rather than being themselves.

Be Brave.

Be Bold.

Be You.

And

Forget What People Say, They Will Always Talk!

Joe

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fear blog post

Let Fear Be The Ignition That Starts The Engine

Have you ever allowed fear to stop you from doing something? I know I have; if I look back at my life, every time I regret not doing something, it’s always the same reason no matter the circumstance – FEAR.

Fear of;

  • Not being good enough
  • Failing
  • What other people will think
  • Pain and suffering
  • Not being in control
  • Success
  • Intimacy

Every single one of the above has influenced at least one decision during my life. The crazy thing is, the fear seems so ridiculous in hindsight. This makes me wonder if the majority, if not all our fears are ridiculous.

If I could go back in time and make the decisions again I’d feel the fear, tell myself I can handle whatever happens, and do it anyway. Which begs the questions why don’t we do the same with our current fears?

Not doing something I want to do today, because of fear in this moment, will lead to my older self having the same scenario to deal with. When I could just take the advice I’d give my younger self and use it RIGHT NOW!

Assuming we’re not talking about jumping off a cliff or, another life and death scenario;

Let fear be the ignition that starts the engine.

Don’t let fear to stop you from designing your own life.

Average Joe

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